Winter 2013

Thoughts around this Christmas.  This fall has been tougher than it should be for two who work 40 + hours a week.  Our neighbor who pays us for the power has been making it tougher than it should be.  She is fighting the bills and short paying us.  Now we are afraid that she will just up and leave us cleaning up the land up the house.  She is walking around with a chip on her shoulder.  We so seldom see her and when we do, we hardly talk with her or the kids.  It is exhausting working every day and volunteering on the days off.  I can not find time to take care of me.  My clothes are falling apart and I have no money to replace them. 

Jeff has a job offer with the electrician who he used to work for.  He is sick of the politics of this job and we are both tired of struggling to always being short on funds.  With both of us working, our combined annual income is lower than either of the checks my sister and brother-in-law make.
 
This year has also been very dry even though the nights are cool.  It is Christmas.  The are quality is red again.  It has been red last week and went violet for more than one day.  If the moisture doesn't come, this fire season will crazy.  So far the home we are In has not been threatened but it could be.  The fires in the hills last summer were the worse yet.  No one died in them, but if no rains, it could be worse.  This is one of those things driving me nuts this winter.


Here is hoping that 2014 is a better year in many areas.

http://quickmap.dot.ca.gov/  If you zoom in between Huntington Lake and Mammoth Pool Reservoir you can see the area of the local fire.  
http://www.wildcad.net/WCCA-SNF.htm  This fire is being handled mostly Sierra Fire departments.   They have all kinds of trucks in our areas.   From this you can see there have been fires down Jose Basin.  Jeff is bugged since that is our fire area and they fought it.  They decided that they needed to fight it alone.  No calls for the local crew.  Those fires have been called suspicious.    http://yubanet.com/CAFires/Aspen.php This fire has yet to be contained.  I went yesterday to lunch in Prather and there were around 20 engines in the parking lots nearby.  It was lunch time when I got there.   I am sure that is not normal for everyone to go to town for fresh food.   They were crews about to come on and crews who had come off for 12 hours or so.  They have closed up campgrounds in the high country areas for fire guys.  I have heard this on SNF fire and admin radios.  They always run sirens when they drive by.  I find this annoying since it makes buddy bear wine.  It is very smokey in my area.  http://mammothtimes.com/content/update-july-24-smoky-skies-mammoth-due-2000-plus-acre-aspen-fire-west-side-sierra-crest  This site shows it is not just us.  Yet those of us who live in the area of the smoke it is hard to find information.  That is also because it is basically being fought by only Sierra Fire an hardly any Calfire guys are involved.  Calfire usually tells us what is going on, but it is hard to learn about this.  The air is so smokey that it is hotter in the house than normal.  The temperatures are not dropping much at night due to the smokey layer.  http://abclocal.go.com/kfsn/story?section=news/local&id=9185363  These women had issues due to the smoke also.  I have a feeling when it clears we will find animals and others who struggled due to this smoke. I would not be shocked if many have headaches and migraines due to lack of clear air.  Here's hoping that it is out soon and life can go back to "normal".
 

41 birthday

Today I turn 41.
Next week  brother James turns 40.  If mom was alive, she would be 69 years old.  It is an exciting time for the family.  It has been a while since we used to celebrate together.  I get to celebrate for 6 days then it is time for mom and James birthday.  It then is a few months before Carol's birthday (September).  Sometimes it is fun having a brother so close in age but I wish he was closer to "normal" than he is.  I also wish Mom was still here to help with everything that has happened with him.  If gets irritating not having a voice, but caring so much.  She (sister) does not really hear and does whatever she wants.  We are also limited since she handed him over for "foster care"  he is now a ward of a state weather we like it or not.  I think they test out drugs on people like him who have no more say in how they are treated.  We try to tell them what to do, but they no longer listen either.
I have had today a few people telling me happy birthday.  It is nice, but most of them I have not seen in years and a birthday is not enough to see them.  I may just have to do something to celebrate tonight.  I may ask hubby to take me to dinner out.  Will have to wait until he gets home from work.

Crazy

I did come to Clovis on Monday and helped at church with VBS. Monday there was a fire nearby our home.  Tuesday and I received an email offering to stay home.  Since hubby was home, I stayed away.  Wednesday I had planned to stay away to attend a meeting in Prather on the frog and toad.  I did not like that it happened the same week, but it did.  This thing with them has a time constraint.  I go today to help again, and was told I am not needed.  If I knew that, I would have stayed home.  Just love it when people do not communicate.  I am very frustrated.  I think I will just stay home tomorrow.

Summer plans

I now want to update.  This week, I will work 4 full days and 1 half day.  Next two weeks are 4 day work weeks.  Then we get one full week which is finals week.  At that time, I will become a mountain girl again and not head to the city except on weekends.  I have planned this year to sew much this summer.  I plan to make one long sleeved shirt, one skirt, one dress, one jeans.  The thing about being so tall, means long sleeved shirts do not come to my wrists.  The skirt and dress will be long enough to reach my ankles.  I love seeing women in maxi dresses but they are sooo expensive, easily costing over 100 if they are long enough for my 5`11" frame.  Jeans are the same way.  To get them longer, you pay twice the price as the "regular" length.  For some reason, most brands which sell tall do not sell them with a longer rise so they become hip-huggers on me and are very uncomfortable.   The goal is to make Jeans which fit perfectly and only cost me 60 plus labor.   I have until mid August to make these clothes then when school begins it is usually very slow to begin with.   I am signing up to substitute next year, but I will also be applying for something more permanent someone closer to home.  I do love the work, but we are attempting to buy our own place so if we were both full time, that would help us getting the mortgage.   I know we are dreamers, but that is okay too.
In other news, I am now married to the assistant chief of the bald mountain fire department.  He gets annoyed when they do not receive calls for an extended period of time.  This has been true though since he got back into fire fighting.  I should not be surprised by it but for someone I am.  I still love him and hope he stays safe.  I know he is able but is he smart enough to stop when the pains begins.  That is the big question.

Now stuff

I have not posted in a while, I just finished doing a long term sub job.  I loved it and hated it at the same time.  I loved being with the students, some I will see again next year and possibly later this year. It was a bittersweet day on Friday as I said some goodbyes.  I took Monday off too just to rest and take care of some stuff here at home.  I find myself exhausted and generally wore out.
I now see why teachers just take personal days.
I right now do want my own class.  I want to continue what I have been doing with covering for others and using their substitute plans.  I think I would have a teaching credential if I had gone to a different University for my masters than University of Phoenix.  They have screwed me in many ways.  Due to this, I can not work enough to pay my student loans which I got while attending classes.  Education in CA is very messed up and Phoenix should stay in Arizona and stop messing with CA Education.
Today (Monday) I just hate my life to a degree and it seems like life is pulling me from education and more to fire anyway.Since Hubby does our local volunteer fire and he is the most trained person in the fire house, they are likely to make him chief or assistant chief soon since the Chief is retiring soon.  Much is depending on this vote this week and the board agreeing with what the other firemen decide.  I just want to move on and begin a new life.  I doubt that will happen though.  

Easter week

This is what I have been working on this week.  That is after I finished my grading this week.  I spent two days grading this week.  On Wednesday I cut this out.  Thursday I went to Town all day.  So no sewing.  Friday the house was mopped and vacuumed.  Then I got to sewing.  Saturday today I could not find time to sew.  Maybe Easter afternoon.  That means I will likely wear it on the day we go back to school.  Now I see that I want to remove a pocket.  Maybe I can finish it tomorrow.  Hope everyone has a great week.  Once it is done, I will post a new photo of the finished shirt.

Today is the last day of my freedom as a substitute teacher.  Tomorrow I am a long term substitute.  I have many fears.  I am going to the school during his prep period to ask a bunch of questions.  He is confident I will be fine.  The administration is sure I will be fine, I am the worried one.  I will be a teacher for 1 week over a month for now.  He has surgery later this week and will know more after that.  For now they have told him 5 to 6 weeks.  If the surgery has any complications, it could take longer.  A piece of me hopes it takes longer but part of me thinks I can do this too.    I have not had my own class since 2001.  Part of me is afraid it has been too long ago.  Too many things have changed since I had my own class.
Now you see some of things making me crazy.
Today I am making rice, we have re-fried beans, tortillas, bread, bagels, grapefuits.  Not sure what to make with all of those, but I will make meals, and healthy ones at that.  For now I am looking forward to spring break just for the rest.  I still have to plant seeds and grow more vegetables. My plan for now is rest that week and plant food.  I hope the snow is over, but we still need more wet stuff.
That is my life in a nutshell for now.

catching up

So I have been very quiet lately.  Last week I caught a cold and only worked Monday and a half day on Tuesday.  I then stayed home on Wednesday and it seemed to get worse so I also stayed home on Thursday.  Then when I still felt badly, I decided to cancel my job for Friday.  This week I have worked more days than last already with Friday's job making a third full day.  I am not quite well, but I do not feel like I wish I was dead.  That is a start in the right direction.
This week I worked, Monday, Wednesday and will work on Friday.  I went to day bible study on Tuesday. Today I am home and cooking re-fried beans.  I also took little dog for a walk.  It has been good so far.  Maybe I can get and stay healthy now.  Next week I begin a long term substitute assignment.  This is the longest ahead I have ever been asked to work a long job.  I have done another long term job and did not know it would turn into what it was.  I hope this will go smoothly.  He is doing all he can to make it work.  The administration is helping the best they can.  I hope this works.  I should enjoy this.  I may become more sporadic in the meantime.  

Schools

Today I am subbing and even though this is a 4 day work week, I am working only my second day this week. I wanted to work all days but Tuesday. There was a large storm expected on Tuesday that was supposed to show up on Monday night then storm all week. This storm came late ( Tuesday night ) then was over. Where we live, we got between 8 and 10 inches. The wind was gusting
causing drifts. Due to the weather, I chose not to work on Tuesday. I got no job offers for Thursday.

This week I was asked to sub for a teacher having surgery. This job will be around a month. I have been asked to get a loaner laptop so I can do his grades and file reports. For the time he is gone, I will be their teacher on record with all abilities.  It does bug me that the guy I will be subbing for has a math add on and has only passed one CSET.  I have passed two but I do not have a credential so I can not have my own class.  I take all classes seriously.  I love the students as if they were my own and try to do my best for them.  I just get annoyed at the politics of the schools.  I was told today that I should not take a job in Clovis but one in Fresno or Tulare.  The reason I was told to join them is that they have a union and I need a union in order to keep my job.  The premise of that statement is what I am arguing with.  I have a huge problem with unions who take the money of people who are forced to join the union for the job.  I do want nothing to do with a union.  NOTHING

I do understand that some people love their unions.  I am a child of union leader who devoted his life to union and not his family.  I was neglected so he could go remote locations for the union for further training.  This is one of the fights I remember between my mom and dad.  Dad wanted to go somewhere and mom did not want him to go.  She wanted more of him also.  When he was traveling, he was too hard to find for his wife and children.  That was before cell phones but I do not think you can be 100% committed to union, to your family and job.  OKAY rant over.

One day I will find my dream job in a school or home schooling my own children.  I keep hoping for a better future.  One day either it come or I will be in heaven saying life sucks for you.

Life

I was off yesterday (Thursday) and should have gotten the wife of the year award. I washed the sheets, bought dog food, made and ate lunch, took the dog for a walk, made the bed, then made and ate dinner, did dishes, then made coffee creamer. Then I caught up with Hulu tv while knitting with a loom. I also cleaned up the guest bathroom.
I also want to give hubby of the year award to my man. Yesterday he took down the trash and got rid of it. Today he is home with our dog. I do hope the dog has food and water when I get home. The hubby has frozen foods which he will microwave.  Well when I got home (it is later) the dog was out of food. Yet he did go go outside to go to the bathroom.
Now to make dinner for both of us and relax for the night.

Today is Presidents Day, it has been a holiday for both of us.   In honor of it being presidents day, I want to direct your attention to learning for a few.  This page http://www.enchantedlearning.com/history/us/pres/list.shtml
gives you a list of all the presidents and vice presidents past.  It is kind of cool to look at and know the past. It is my little shout out to the past presidents.  That is the reason for this holiday I think.

Today I slept in and went grocery shopping.  I also did the laundry and hung the clothes.  I walked the dog to the mailboxes and then back home.  I am making re-fried beans again, they are cooling now so I can blend them up.  I plan on making granola bars for breakfasts next week and mixing up hot chocolate for drinking here.  Busy day but much is done.

I have not done my bible study yet this week but it is something I want to finish.  There is two storms heading this week next week.  It is to rain/snow tonight, Tuesday and night, Wednesday, calm Wednesday night, chance again, Thursday, Thursday night, Friday, Saturday, Saturday night, then next Sunday is to be calm again.  I hope we get some "real" snow.  We have not had a foot or more this year yet.  We need more snow.  I know it is becoming cold again up here but will this series of storms be wet enough to make much snow.  This year has been too dry which means a tough fire season.  I would rather have the wet.  Hope this is the week it happens.
Signing off to get work done around here.

Tuesday

So today was busy even though I only worked half a day.  Today I went to the day bible study group.  It was nice to see my day friends again, but I end up missing my night friends.  I guess I can not have it all, but I do want it all.  Then I went to school and dealt with a loud class who was more rude than needed.  I do understand that I subbed for a man and those who have become used to the men teaching often can not handle the women leading.  It often does not matter if we know as much or more than the teachers.  The students do not respect substitute teachers.  I find that irritating.

This is what I made for dinner tonight.  I call it my easy button.  I prefer to make stuff from scratch but I do like Near East as an answer for a busy day and no time to plan.  I want to make more from scratch, but time sometimes is not in my favor.  Today is one of those days.  I should have planned better yesterday, but I was not feeling well so that did not happen.
So far this week is not going as I planned it, maybe it is time to give it all to God but right now I do not want to do that.  Please God help me get there.  It is now late and I want sleep so I will post this and hope no one hates me for what I said tomorrow.

Today is Saturday and I was supposed to be in town around 3 hours ago.  Hubby gave me a hard time since he wanted to sleep in.  He did not want to be in town that early.  I said we will decide this morning.  We were up in time and I began making us breakfast.  During the time breakfast was cooking, he got a page to go to a structure fire.  He has been gone almost 4 hours already on this fire.  I still need to get to town today but things like this make me realize that I am not in charge of my own life.  I am hungry and annoyed but he is off with the only car we have.  I am stuck until he returns.
I did work this week every day.  One of the days was a 1/2 day which he got mad at me for taking.  I only took the job they offered.  The other days were all full days.  I am so looking forward to a three day weekend.  It is great that schools take off two Mondays in a row.  On one hand, I enjoy the day off and get some stuff done at home.  On the other hand, I do not earn money when the schools are not in session.  Since we are in February, it is now time that I must "hide" money so we can make it in Summer.  Even though there is snow out here, I must plan ahead.

End of January

I have been working every day this week. There has been some confusion this week. I had a job an Monday and during the day I got a job offer for Tuesday which the teacher was ill so he never put in the job. When I had no confirmation , I took any job at that school. I taught Drama on that day and since he did not have the job in, the admin had just got a warm body in the classroom. The teacher told the students he had not done the subject in over 40 years so he did not even try. I had to reteach the day before and the new lesson. In one of his classes, I was going to re- teach anyway. I will be the same teacher again tomorrow. He is out sick and is hoping to return on Friday. Yet the confusion of who and what topic I am daily, I have been feeling overwhelmed. I would like for him to return, but I would love to work the rest of the week too. There is the part of me which would love to work everyday but there is a piece of me me which likes to have days off every week. I would love to have a day for housework. At this point, if I work in schools everyday, and am at church on Saturday and Sundays. I get around 4 hours of daylight on each day. That does not allow much time to clean the house, laundry and prep meals for the week. This week I have been wanting to make refried beans. That takes a night to soak and a day to cook. Then it takes almost an hour to blend up into refried beans. If I get Friday off I will make my refried beans that day if not I will make it over the weekend. I also need to mop the kitchen, guest bathroom, and hallways.

January 26, 2013

This week I worked three days.  Considering that there were 4 school days this week, I guess that is good.  I wish sometimes that I have my own classroom.  Yet, with the politics in schools and their districts, I am not sure I do want my own classroom.   Right now I do not like the regulations that are put upon teachers.  Between the state regulations, there are district regulations which make "learning" almost impossible.  The standardized test results have huge results for students and teachers alike.  I would love to see something change soon, but I doubt it will. Anymore I am loving homeschooling. It allows learning life skills which are no longer taught in schools.  I substitute in junior high and senior high in the valley and see so much wasted trying to keep the smart kids slowed down to meet up with the slower students who disturbed the class.  The slower students should not be ones that we are exclusively trying to teach.  Each student should be able to taught at his or her own level.  That can only happen in a smaller class environment.  Yet the funding is so low that most classes are over 30 not under 20.  I do understand that most college classes are more packed than that, so I know we are preparing them for college but we are not doing a good at that, either the smartest students or dumbest students lead the class in a good way or bad way.  For most students and classes, they do learn how to think critically and for themselves.  This is lacking in way too many classes.  I would love to see actual thinking on their own done almost every day.  What I see is students doing the work for others and much copying happening which I tell them how it is not helping anyone.  That is does not cause any learning on either parts.  We are just making dumb the next generation. I do like to work and enjoy the students for the most part, but I do like how "learning" is not truly happening in the school environment.
One vent down only 100 or more still to go.  Are you sure you want to read all my crazy thoughts?  I am not sure that they are worth reading. In the weather, it is still too warm to feel like winter.  We needs more snow and rain - I know that almost always also means fog too but without wet, we will be a drought again.  We are barely above a drought and not not sure we will stay above it but the people who declare that do not until June or July.  We have more months with the potential for more wet.  I just want it now and later not just later.

It is now Saturday.  This week, I have made re-fried beans, and rice.  The beans turned out some spicy since I added a shake of cayenne pepper.  It seems to call for something spice-less such as rice or cheese.  Yet we are enjoying it anyways.  I have discovered on the land we rent that there is a lot of poison oak growing on the land, we do not want these to grow into trees but they are beginning to look more tree like and less like a vine.  Hubby wants to burn them off since he is highly allergic to them.  Yet there is no rain in the forecast.  Not sure that will happen.  Yet not sure it will not.  I am still temped to take my pruning shears out and get rid of most of them.  I know the trunks are not the problem.  I could cut them and throw them into the burn  pile.  Yet I know they will return.  That is not good either.
We are still in January, but the days are too warm.  I live at 4500 feet elevation, but we have been in the upper 60's during the day even though we have been dropping down to low 20's during the night.  It is beginning to feel like spring and most of the snow is gone.  We so need more snow, winter is still here.
I hate the fact I work as a contract employee, I do love what I do, but my check this month will be small since there was not school for the last two weeks of December and I get paid for that time on this months check.  I do not like it when I can not work.  This last week was finals schedule for CUSD where I work the most.  They do not use many substitutes during this week since teachers do not want their classes to take finals while they are gone.  I worked on Friday this week.  I do enjoy that once in a while but it seems lately that it has been too much.  I think this is because we just got off of Winter break and now another week where we do not get to work.  I am thinking about finding a job on line where I could work it from home for times like this, but I doubt I would find much work for these times.
Since today is Saturday and the church we are at has services on Saturday and Sunday.  We have one tonight and two on Sunday.  I guess that is how my weekends always go.  On weeks I do not work, those days I do know I will get to go to town.  I hope it ends up being a good weekend.

I begin this blog as a person who wants to do better being a friend, wife, and teacher.  I have a husband who loves to shoot his guns and enjoys going out shooting on most days.  I was bothered by the what the president told the congress.  It did seem as if he is limiting the 2nd amendment yet I also understand that some of the states do have the same regulations.  I bought a handgun last year and there was a safety test I had to take, then there was a 7 day waiting period while they made sure I had no record.  You can not buy in CA magazines that hold more than 10.  Maybe what he is suggesting will not play a role in CA due to our current regulations.  It might play a role in other states though.  It seems anymore that to me that if the media did not talk about every shooting that they would stop or at least slow them down.  The problem as I see it is that these acts are glamorized.  Once upon a time ago, people who wanted to kill themselves, just did that.  Anymore, the people who want to commit suicide, kill multiple people then have then have the police kill them or they just kill their selves.  If our TV did not talk about for years and months, then it would not have become so popular.  I remember when Columbine shooting happened, it was awful, it shocked the nation, that was over 10 years ago.  There have been so many worse shootings since.  Guns in the hands of good people have stopped a few of these shootings.  Yet in schools, guns are not allowed and most people know that.  That is why many of these shootings happen in schools.  I do not have a child, but if I did, I would home school them.  I think too much time is wasted in the schools.  I also think that most home schooled children are better prepared for the "real" world.  Schools try hard, but there is too much testing and students only learn for the tests.  They do not remember much of what learned two weeks later.  It is finals week in one of the school districts I substitute at.  The students are not ready even if they think they are.  Many of them will cheat during the tests even if the teacher is trying to stop it and is threatening them.  The students do this due to the fact they are not ready for the test.  So far in their education they have not needed this knowledge so they will not need it.  Yet once out of school, you can not cheat on most jobs.  Also if you want a good paying job where you do not have to live at home and can pay for your own car, you need college, I have had college classes where everyone in the room has a different test, that way it is about impossible to cheat.  People who cheat in school will most likely cheat in life tool. That ruins marriages, families, friendships.  I wish our world was different.  I will just change my piece of my world.  Today I will get laundry done, exercise (yoga video) and walk (with dog), and make a healthy dinner for hubby and myself.  Hope everyone has a great day.  Focus on what can be changed.  Nothing else you can do will change that.